The Contradiction of Being Human
Why consistency is harder than it sounds
As I became more of a wellness girly, I realized that we live in a world that’s obsessed with self improvement. We read self-help books, listen to podcasts, eat healthy and go to the gym. “Consistency is key,” they say. But honestly, how many of us are truly consistent? Sure, I follow my holistic diet—70% of time and do my stretches, but as I’m writing this, I haven’t stretched in a week, knowing I have to, to improve in ballet.
Why Is Consistency So Hard?
We make resolutions, set goals, promise ourselves we'll do better, and still fail. Maybe it’s a lack of discipline, or maybe we’re just walking contradictions.
I mean we don’t only contradict ourselves when it comes to our goals. How many of us have sat and preached to someone and realized we don’t even practice it ourselves. We give out relationship advice to our friends that we don’t even follow ourselves.
We don’t always practice what we are preaching and that’s not because we are exactly hypocrites…(probably just a bit)
It’s because of cognitive dissonance, which is just a very human thing.
What Is Cognitive Dissonance?
After some research I came across the term “cognitive dissonance,” introduced by psychologist Leon Festinger. It describes that uncomfortable feeling we get when we hold two conflicting beliefs or behaviors at the same time. Like believing everyone should be themselves, but cringing when we see someone on TikTok doing dances. Even scientists, who are supposed to be rational, experience this. Edwin G. Boring wrote a paper about how scientists sometimes hold opposing views or ignore evidence that doesn’t fit their narrative, you know —just like staying in a bad relationship even when we know it’s wrong.
Boring mentioned how the dissonance may be unconscious and used smoking as an example. You like to smoke but you are aware that smoking causes lung cancer this creates dissonance.
Boring explained that according to Festinger that when we face this kind of dissonance we deal with it in different views; We change our behavior and we stop smoking because we don’t want to get lung cancer. We change our believes and convince ourselves that smoking is not that bad. We suppress or ignore and pretend we don’t know anything about it or my personal favorite — We rationalise the dissonance for example the one I hear the most is “ Life is short, so why not enjoy it?” Classic.
The Role of Culture in Our Contradictions
It’s not just inconsistencies. The paper also mentioned a thing called Zeitgeist which refers to “the spirit of times” which basically means that the culture we live in, influence how we think. Even scientist are influenced by it. For example back in the day we thought the Earth was the center of the universe but then Copernicus came in and was like, "Uhmm actually, we’re just a planet circling the sun." What we believe and how we act are all shaped by the world we live in.
We struggle with consistency, not just cause we suck at self-discipline, but because the world around us is always changing its mind about things. One minute you're all about equality and feminism, and then you’re contemplating about being a stay at home mom that cooks and cleans. Even my political views are the opposite of what they were 4 years ago. Boring says we're all just products of our time, and we’re shaped by culture. So, no wonder we’re walking contradictions!
Fuck it, Embrace The Contradiction
I’ve lost count of the times I’ve told someone to “to be honest with yourself,” while pretending like i don’t know better to walk away from something that was no longer serving me. We all do it. We are the masters at preaching what we don’t practice. Is it hypocritical? Maybe. But more than that, it’s human.
Now, I’m not saying we should just give up on consistency. Boring suggests that dealing with contradictions can help us grow. It’s uncomfortable, but that’s how we evolve. Instead of beating ourselves up for being inconsistent, maybe we should embrace the mess. Life is complex and always changing so why try to fit ourselves into a perfect box? The real challenge isn’t being consistent—it’s being okay with not being consistent. At least for me it is.
In the end, maybe real happiness comes when we accept that life is full of contradictions. We’re all just trying to figure it out. Besides, isn’t life itself the biggest contradiction of all?